30 - Bubble.

If you are ever in a pub in the inner north of Melbourne, particularly around election time, you are bound to find a table of queers pouring over the latest right wing hate campaign trying to figure out how such ridiculous rhetoric could be held in this day and age. Nobody still thinks like that, surely? A week later that same bigot will be elected as the leader of the country seemingly representing the majority of your neighbour's politics.

You will hear the phrase “we live in such a bubble” which is kind of the only way people who exist contrary to social norms can make sense of the world around them. But you should also recognise that is bubble is an active and conscious act of resistance. It is a dome of security we build to protect ourselves from the ongoing threat of simply living our lives. 

You see our bubbles remove the constant sense of friction that comes from fighting for space. You don’t have to explain yourself, argue for your rights, or even for your existence. In our little world you don’t have to adjust and adapt to feel safe. You don’t need to make allowances because they don’t know any better. You don’t have to apologise for who you are, hide or feel shame. In our bubble we create a world where we can float. 

A dear friend of mine works in a very cis male dominated industry. It has been male dominated for so long the mere sight of a woman seems to strike awe. As if they thought you needed a literal penis to shove in the ignition and operate the machinery. Sometimes she avoids telling strangers what she does for a living just so she can escape the barrage of questions people have about her career choice. 

To make matters worse my friend is not only female, she is queer. That narrows the minority down to a needle in a room full of pricks. 

Us friends love to hear about her work, even though it sounds exhausting and we hate thinking about how much it drains the life out of her. We laugh and roll our eyes when she shares stories about her days stuck for hours next to cis straight men. They seem to have never considered a world outside their own heteronormative existence. 

“How do you get on, you know…meeting people? Do you find it hard to find other people ‘like you’….romantically?” the cave men ask. 

“To be honest mate, work is the only place I really come across people of “like you” so no, I don't find it hard at all. I find this hard! *gestures to the space around her and laughs nervously*

We all erupt in laughter. Everyone inside our bubble, that is. People outside don’t get it. They don’t see that they too live in a bubble. Because their whole life they have been led to believe the world is their bubble. 

In a way I feel sorry for people who don't know that sense of community. One that wraps around you as soon as they recognise you as part of their tribe. It carries a sense of safety and connection wherever you go in the world. You are a dual citizen. Connected to a magical world, but with a passport to travel through another....the 'real world'.

It's the real world that feels foreign sometimes. Strangers, doing strange things that they keep saying is 'normal' but no one seems to be very comfortable. Like declaring the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman in one breath, then complaining about the weight of commitment like a "ball and chain" in the next. Insisting on creating social and emotional divides between boys and girls from birth and then wondering why they can't understand each other and feel they are from different planets. That's some weird shit.

Cis straight people say they get confused by what all the lgbtqia+ means but rest assured we're equally as confused by you and your lifestyles. Difference is where not out here trying to erase you or suggest you don't exist. We are just kinda trying to avoid you. So like, leave us alone.